the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
