who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
