Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
