We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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