Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Come see our sink grown plant.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize
