They should really pass out barf bags in church
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
worst night to have a conscience
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
