After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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