Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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