the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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