I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
