Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
