wake up i wanna do it froggy style
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize