Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
You pole danced in your parka.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
me + whiskey = a bad person
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
