No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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