So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
no, he came in my armpit
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
