if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Randomize
