six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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