Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize