Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
