i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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