She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
The adults are the big ones right?
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