wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
