I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize