Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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