shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
