I'm going to jail i love you
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
