Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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