In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Randomize
