I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
