She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
