AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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