we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
