I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
