I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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