Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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