jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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