she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
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