Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
