His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
