My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
