People with herpes should wear stickers.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
