Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
