He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
