I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
