I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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