i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
