I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
