you're like a bully in the Christmas story
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
is it fun? or sober?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
