I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
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