No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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