Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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