Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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