I only kidnapped one of them. chill
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Randomize
