I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
