Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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