God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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