If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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