I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
