actually, I'm a sock model
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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