I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
