Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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