i need an iv and a liver transplant
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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