i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
