Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
