so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Randomize