Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
