I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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